Revenge: A dish best served on Father's Day

I think I see a pattern forming. Stevie seemed to decide that Mother's Day is all about mothers and their children spending quality time together. "Fair enough" I said, "but I get to spend quality time with them every day of the week and I don't really think that's a good enough excuse for me getting up with them at the crack of dawn and you getting to lie in bed until nearly a quarter to lunchtime". But he explained "What would you be doing if we were living up in Scotland? Exactly! You'd be going to see your mum and spending some quality time with her, doing something, and I'd be doing the same. It's about the kids doing something with their mum!". Chances are though, if we lived in Scotland I would not be starting my mum's Sunday by wailing "Muuummmmeeeee!" from my bed, while my sister (see, I told you I'd give you a nice mention) handed her a sloshing potty from the top of the stairs with a wavering hand.

So, it turns out Stevie asked the kids what they would like to get me for Mother's Day. Orla, the oldest, has only just grasped that this is not my birthday, and Hamish doesn't care, but hopes that it involves cake somewhere down the line. So he said to them "What would you like to get Mummy? Would you like to get her flowers; would you like to take her to see some baby animals, or would you like to get her something nice to wear?". I didn't even need to make that bold, did I?

Stevie doesn't see this as child manipulation, or think that there's anything even doubtful about this range of choices he offered them. So we went to the zoo. I quite like the zoo, and fair enough happy kids make for a happy mummy, but I think there's just something a bit off about the whole deal. This Father's Day (20th June) I will ask them if they'd like to give him a day in the pub, a nice expensive Orla Kiely handbag full of cake, or as much uninterrupted sleep as he could devour. Hmmm...wonder what they'll choose. Oh, and he can get up at say 4:30 am or something to max out on that quality time with the kids. Lovely!